{"id":57,"date":"2025-11-04T12:36:19","date_gmt":"2025-11-04T20:36:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/onlychristy.com\/?p=57"},"modified":"2025-11-06T05:57:45","modified_gmt":"2025-11-06T13:57:45","slug":"when-your-brain-smells-like-garbage-my-battle-with-stinkin-thinkin-and-the-power-of-gratitude","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/onlychristy.com\/?p=57","title":{"rendered":"When Your Brain Smells Like Garbage: My Battle with Stinkin\u2019 Thinkin\u2019 and the Power of Gratitude"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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Have you ever woken up and just knew the day was about to suck? Like before your feet even hit the floor, sadness has already tucked you back in like, \u201cGood morning, baby girl, I\u2019m your emotional support blanket\u201d?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Or have you ever looked at your to-do list, realized it\u2019s longer than the book of Leviticus, and thought, \u201cYeah, no. I\u2019ll just emotionally spiral instead\u201d?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Or maybe you\u2019ve been on vacation, in a literal paradise, and still found yourself crying over nothing like, \u201cOh look, a rainbow\u2026 excuse me while I sob into my poke bowl\u201d?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Welcome to my mind. Population: Me and my stinkin\u2019 thinkin\u2019.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019ve struggled with depression on and off since elementary school. Not the cute kind where you eat ice cream and cry to Adele. I\u2019m talking full-blown emotional warfare\u2014stress, anxiety, sadness, and a mental playlist of \u201cYou\u2019re Not Enough\u201d on repeat. My brain is like a bad neighborhood\u2014you don\u2019t want to walk through it alone after dark.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now, don\u2019t get me wrong. Being in Hawaii should be the ultimate antidepressant. The sun, the ocean, the friendly people who say \u201caloha\u201d like they actually mean it. But here\u2019s what I realized: the less busy I am, the louder my thoughts get.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The poor-me pity party sneaks in like that one uninvited cousin who brings emotional baggage instead of potato salad. Suddenly, anxiety, shame, and sadness all show up to the luau of my mind, and none of them brought dessert.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At home, I stay as busy as humanly possible to outrun my feelings. From the moment I wake up at 6 a.m. till I crash at 11 p.m., I\u2019ve got a to-do list longer than Moses\u2019 beard. I write it out the night before, like, \u201cTomorrow I will be a productive goddess.\u201d Then tomorrow comes, and my brain\u2019s like, \u201cLet\u2019s just scroll for three hours and question your life choices.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Some days I conquer the list. Other days, I\u2019m lucky if I brush my teeth before noon. But even on the bad days, I force myself to speak life\u2014to encourage myself\u2014because if I don\u2019t, who will? Sometimes you\u2019ve got to be your own hype woman. And above all, I lean on the one who gives me real strength\u2014Jesus. If it weren\u2019t for Him, honestly, I might not be here today.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I remember one of my darkest moments vividly. Stephen and I had just moved to San Diego, and life was kicking our butts. Financial struggles, marital tension, and a whole storm of personal issues. That year, depression hit me like a truck. I cried every single day until I was dehydrated. I cried so hard I started getting UTI\u2019s. And if you\u2019ve ever had one of those, you know\u2014it\u2019s not just pain, it\u2019s fiery pee pain. Like my body was saying, \u201cGirl, you\u2019re stressed and now you\u2019re spicy.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One night, it all came crashing down. I was on the bathroom floor, sobbing, pounding the tile, screaming, \u201cGod, I can\u2019t do this anymore!\u201d I didn\u2019t want to live. I was done. But in that moment, something incredible happened. I felt the Holy Spirit wrap around me like the warmest, safest blanket. Instantly, the chaos quieted. The peace that surpasses understanding\u2014the one the Bible talks about\u2014showed up like, \u201cSurprise, girl, I still got you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I remember sitting there, drenched in tears, looking up, and saying, \u201cOkay God, I\u2019m gonna fight back.\u201d I decided that night that I wasn\u2019t going to let depression bully me anymore. That I was going to do whatever it took to heal my mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It took years. Seven long years, to be exact. Seven years of research, trial and error, therapy, prayer, and a lot of ugly crying. I became obsessed with rewiring my brain. I studied how to turn negative thoughts into positive ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The turning point came when I challenged myself to write 100 things I was grateful for every day for 30 days. And they had to be different every single time. No repeats. I wrote ten new things every hour, for ten hours straight.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At first, I thought I\u2019d run out by day three. But by the end of day one, something shifted. I felt\u2026 lighter. My brain, which had been covered in clouds, suddenly saw sunlight again. Gratitude literally reprogrammed my mind. I started seeing the good in everything, even in pain. I wasn\u2019t ignoring my problems\u2014I was choosing not to let them define me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Depression didn\u2019t vanish overnight, but it lost its grip. That practice changed my life. Gratitude became my weapon. When my mind started stinkin\u2019 again, I\u2019d fight back with thanksgiving.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Because here\u2019s the thing\u2014stinkin\u2019 thinkin\u2019 means no faith. And without faith, God can\u2019t move. When you\u2019re stuck in negativity, you block your own blessings. But when you shift into gratitude, you make space for miracles.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I started thanking God for everything. \u201cThank you for my hot tea. Thank you for the annoying neighbor who bangs on the floor to be quiet. Thank you for the UTI that made me drink more water.\u201d Hey, gratitude doesn\u2019t have to be glamorous\u2014it just has to be real.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And every time I thanked Him, I felt my faith rise. And when faith rises, God moves. He moved in my mindset. He moved in my marriage. He moved in my heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Do I still have hard days? Absolutely. Some mornings I wake up and sadness is right there, whispering, \u201cHey girl, miss me?\u201d But now I know how to fight back. I pick up my gratitude list like it\u2019s spiritual Febreze and start spraying the stench of stinkin\u2019 thinkin\u2019 out of my soul.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not about pretending life is perfect\u2014it\u2019s about finding joy even when it\u2019s not. Gratitude doesn\u2019t deny pain; it transforms it. It tells your brain, \u201cYes, life is hard, but it\u2019s also holy.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So if you\u2019re struggling today, if you\u2019re sitting in your own version of that bathroom floor moment\u2014please hear me\u2014you\u2019re not alone. You\u2019re not broken beyond repair. You\u2019re just human. And God still sees you, still loves you, still has a plan for you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Start small. Write down one thing you\u2019re thankful for. Then two. Then ten. Do it till your heart starts to remember that there is still good in your story.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Because healing doesn\u2019t happen when everything gets easier. It happens when you decide to see beauty in the middle of the mess.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And that, my lovers, is the real power of gratitude. It turns the garbage in your head into fertilizer for growth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Remember you are my lovers, whether you love me or love to hate me you are still my lover!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t forget Jesus loves you and so do I!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Have you ever woken up and just knew the day was about to suck? Like before your feet even hit the floor, sadness has already tucked you back in like, \u201cGood morning, baby girl, I\u2019m your emotional support blanket\u201d? Or have you ever looked at your to-do list, realized it\u2019s longer than the book of […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":58,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-57","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-feature-post"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/onlychristy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/57","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/onlychristy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/onlychristy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/onlychristy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/onlychristy.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=57"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/onlychristy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/57\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/onlychristy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/58"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/onlychristy.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=57"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/onlychristy.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=57"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/onlychristy.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=57"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}