Have you ever been asked a question that made you stop, breathe, and think, \u201cOkay, that\u2019s fair\u201d? Recently, a pastor asked me something that was both honest and loaded \u2014 the kind of question most people think but never say out loud. And honestly, I respect that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Here\u2019s what he asked me:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThank you for your lovely candor; it is refreshing. Are you saying that even if you stopped the sin of adult film, it wouldn\u2019t matter, because you would just sin in other ways, so you may as well just continue to do the sin that you prefer?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Now, I know that\u2019s the kind of question that could make most people defensive. But instead, it made me smile \u2014 because it\u2019s real. It\u2019s curious. And it gave me the chance to explain something that I think the church often struggles to talk about honestly: grace.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n So here\u2019s my answer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2e3b<\/p>\n\n\n\n First off, thank you for that thoughtful comment and for even engaging with me on this. I love when people ask questions from a place of curiosity rather than condemnation \u2014 because that\u2019s where real conversations happen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n What I\u2019m saying is this: we all sin. Every single one of us. None of us has to try<\/em> to sin \u2014 it\u2019s part of our human nature in this messy, fallen world. Romans 3:23 says it clearly: \u201cFor all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n My shortcomings just happen to be more public than most people\u2019s. But that doesn\u2019t make them greater or lesser than anyone else\u2019s. According to Scripture, sin is sin \u2014 whether it\u2019s lying, gossiping, cheating, or even murder \u2014 it all falls under the same category: humanity\u2019s desperate need for grace.<\/em> James 2:10 puts it like this: \u201cWhoever keeps the whole law but stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Through therapy and studying both psychology and Scripture, I\u2019ve learned that most sins don\u2019t just appear out of nowhere. They\u2019re often born out of trauma. Someone who grew up in lack may struggle with stealing. Someone who can\u2019t face reality might lie to survive. Someone who feels unloved at home may chase love and validation in all the wrong places.<\/p>\n\n\n\n We don\u2019t \u201cchoose\u201d our sin as much as we react out of brokenness \u2014 and yet it\u2019s still sin. Which is exactly why we cling to Jesus. Romans 5:8 says, \u201cBut God demonstrates His own love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Let me give you some context from my own life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n When I was 19, Stephen and I were the model \u201cgood Christian students\u201d at Bethany, studying to become pastors. On the outside, we looked pure and devoted. But behind closed doors, we were a mess. We were promiscuous, meeting strangers from Craigslist, living in lust while pretending to be holy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n No one knew the truth except the people we sinned with. And if I\u2019m being honest, we weren\u2019t doing it out of rebellion \u2014 we were doing it out of pain. I was carrying trauma from being molested by a family member, and rapped several times by 5 different men at different times during high school and early junior college years. Stephen had been abused by his own family member. We were broken kids trying to numb our pain with pleasure, wearing masks of perfection because that\u2019s what we thought Christians were supposed to do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n We only uncovered those truths later in therapy, and they helped us understand why we lived in rebellion while still craving redemption.<\/p>\n\n\n\n That\u2019s why I always say \u2014 we have to stop pretending to be flawless. The Bible makes it crystal clear that salvation isn\u2019t based on our performance but on Christ\u2019s finished work on the cross. Ephesians 2:8\u20139 says it best: \u201cFor it is by grace you have been saved, through faith \u2014 and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God \u2014 not by works, so that no one can boast.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n If we could save ourselves by trying harder, then the cross would be pointless.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I don\u2019t promote sin \u2014 but I also don\u2019t promote pretending. My message is simple: stop hiding, stop faking, and start healing. Admit your faults, bring them to Jesus, and rest in His grace.<\/p>\n\n\n\n For 13 years in adult film, Stephen and I have also been in counseling with Christian therapists. And through all of that, we\u2019ve discovered that freedom doesn\u2019t come from perfection \u2014 it comes from surrender. From realizing that grace isn\u2019t a license to sin, it\u2019s the only power strong enough to transform it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I\u2019ve watched so many people walk away from church, not because they stopped believing in Jesus, but because they felt like they could never meet the impossible standards that religion piled on them. They felt like their mistakes made them unworthy of belonging.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But the truth is, the cross was never about us being perfect.<\/em> It was always about Jesus being perfect for us.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n 2 Corinthians 5:21 says, \u201cGod made Him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n That means my righteousness isn\u2019t mine \u2014 it\u2019s His. My worth isn\u2019t in my past \u2014 it\u2019s in His finished work. My hope isn\u2019t in trying to stop sinning \u2014 it\u2019s in knowing that even when I fall, He never stops loving.<\/p>\n\n\n\n That\u2019s why I\u2019m writing more openly about my story. I\u2019m currently working on a book called \u201cRadical Grace: The Scandalous Story of Sin, Sex, and Redemption.\u201d<\/strong> My prayer is that it encourages people not to run from God, but to run toward Him \u2014 flaws, scars, and all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Because if grace doesn\u2019t reach the porn star, the addict, the liar, and the broken \u2014 then it isn\u2019t grace at all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Jesus said in Mark 2:17, \u201cIt is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n That means He came for people like me \u2014 and like you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n So, no, I\u2019m not saying \u201cjust keep sinning.\u201d What I\u2019m saying is: stop pretending you don\u2019t. Because grace only works on what we\u2019re willing to bring into the light.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Thank you again for asking the hard question. These conversations matter. They remind us that faith isn\u2019t about perfection \u2014 it\u2019s about connection. With each other, and with a God whose love scandalously outweighs our failures.<\/p>\n\n\n\n If you\u2019ve got more questions like this or want to go deeper, email me anytime at info@funnychristy.com.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Remember you are my lovers, whether you love me or love to hate me you are still my lover!<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Don\u2019t forget Jesus loves you and so do I!<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Have you ever been asked a question that made you stop, breathe, and think, \u201cOkay, that\u2019s fair\u201d? Recently, a pastor asked me something that was both honest and loaded \u2014 the kind of question most people think but never say out loud. And honestly, I respect that. Here\u2019s what he asked me: \u201cThank you for […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":59,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-51","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-pastor-christy"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/onlychristy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/51","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/onlychristy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/onlychristy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/onlychristy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/onlychristy.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=51"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/onlychristy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/51\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/onlychristy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/59"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/onlychristy.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=51"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/onlychristy.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=51"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/onlychristy.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=51"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}