{"id":25,"date":"2025-10-04T19:55:29","date_gmt":"2025-10-05T02:55:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/onlychristy.com\/?p=25"},"modified":"2025-10-04T19:55:29","modified_gmt":"2025-10-05T02:55:29","slug":"%f0%9f%99%8b%e2%99%80%ef%b8%8f-so-what-do-your-parents-think-about-what-you-do","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/onlychristy.com\/?p=25","title":{"rendered":"\ud83d\ude4b\u200d\u2640\ufe0f\u00a0\u201cSo\u2026 What Do Your Parents Think About What You Do?\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Have you ever done something your parents didn\u2019t approve of \u2014 and for a moment, it felt like their love came with fine print?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ever felt like no matter what you do, you\u2019ll never live up to the expectations your family had for you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Maybe you didn\u2019t become the doctor, the lawyer, or the \u201cgood Christian\u201d they hoped for.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Or maybe, like me, your life took a turn that made people clutch their pearls and pray for your soul.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you\u2019ve ever felt unloved, unseen, or unwanted because of your choices, this story is for you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Because trust me \u2014 I get it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I get what it\u2019s like to feel like your worth is hanging in the balance between \u201cwhat you\u2019ve done\u201d and \u201cwho they thought you\u2019d be.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I get what it\u2019s like to sit across the table from your parents and feel their disappointment louder than their words.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People always ask me the same question, like it\u2019s the elephant in the room everyone wants to poke with a stick:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSo\u2026 what do your parents think about what you do?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Well, here it is.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My dad\u2019s a retired pastor. My mom\u2019s Korean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you know anything about Korean moms, they\u2019re basically born with a Bible in one hand, a wooden spoon in the other, and a PhD in guilt trips.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Put those two together, and let\u2019s just say I was raised in a home where perfection wasn\u2019t encouraged \u2014 it was expected.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So when your daughter grows up and becomes a pornstar, yeah\u2026 that doesn\u2019t exactly fit the church bulletin.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019ve been in the adult industry for over 13 years now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My dad\u2019s response? He doesn\u2019t agree with it, but he\u2019s never condemned me. He doesn\u2019t weaponize scripture. He doesn\u2019t treat me differently. He just quietly loves me where I\u2019m at.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My mom? Whole different story.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She and I have gone 13 rounds in what I like to call The Ring of Judgment, Guilt, and Grace.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Think \u201cWWE: Holy Smackdown Edition.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Growing up, image was everything. My mom cared deeply about what her friends, family, and church members thought of me. In her eyes, my choices reflected her parenting, and that pressure followed me like a shadow. I was taught to smile, stay quiet, and never show emotion. Feelings were fine as long as they looked holy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So I learned to hold everything in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To this day, I still struggle with it \u2014 which is probably one of the reasons why I take acting classes, not because I\u2019m trying to win an Oscar, but because I\u2019m literally learning how to feel again.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Imagine that \u2014 almost 40 years old and learning how to cry without apologizing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I first entered the adult industry, my parents weren\u2019t just hurt \u2014 they were heartbroken. They felt like they\u2019d failed. My dad thought he was a bad father. My mom thought she was a bad mother. They felt judged by everyone around them. They thought I\u2019d turned away from Christ, and that crushed them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Meanwhile, I was crushed too \u2014 just in a different way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was hurt by their assumptions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They thought I had lost my faith, that I was doing this behind Stephen\u2019s back, that I was sneaking around like some secret sinner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What they didn\u2019t understand was that I never stopped believing in God. I just stopped believing in religion that made me feel like love had to be earned.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was angry \u2014 angry that my mom\u2019s love came with conditions. Angry that she said she\u2019d love me if<\/em> I quit. Angry that I was still expected to live perfectly, even when I was just trying to survive. Angry that I couldn\u2019t just be seen as a daughter \u2014 not a disappointment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And I knew if I kept carrying that anger, it would grow into bitterness, resentment, and hatred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I didn\u2019t want that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I didn\u2019t want to become the person who matched her pain with my own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So I started setting boundaries.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I distanced myself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not because I stopped loving her, but because I was tired of the same cycle \u2014 argue, cry, repeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My dad always made it easier. He never made me feel unworthy. He loved people where they were at \u2014 no strings, no conditions, no \u201cif you would just repent.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But my mom \u2014 my religious, fiery, opinionated Korean mom \u2014 was my biggest battle and my deepest wound.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We fought for years.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She told me I lived in \u201cSodom and Gomorrah,\u201d that the devil used me, that I wasn\u2019t the same person anymore.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And then one day, in the middle of one of our worst arguments, she said something that broke me completely.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She said she wanted to kill herself because of what I did.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I froze. I couldn\u2019t breathe. I remember feeling this wave of guilt crash over me \u2014 like somehow her pain was my fault.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But deep down, I knew it wasn\u2019t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I couldn\u2019t carry that burden, not on top of everything else.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So I said the hardest thing I\u2019ve ever said to my mom:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf being in your life hurts you that much, I\u2019ll step out of it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And I did.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For two months, we didn\u2019t speak.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No texts. No calls. No holidays.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It was painful, but peaceful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For the first time in years, I wasn\u2019t walking on eggshells.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then one day came a message I didn\u2019t expect \u2014 Stephen\u2019s parents were helping mine with some VA paperwork and invited them over for dinner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That morning, I texted my mom:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf you can love me and accept me for what I do as a pornstar, I\u2019d love to see you tonight.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It was bold, maybe too bold \u2014 but I was done negotiating my worth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That dinner felt like a scene out of a family drama \u2014 tears, prayers, tension you could cut with a steak knife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stephen\u2019s dad played mediator. My dad cried, saying he felt like a bad father. My mom cried, saying she felt like a failure. And I sat there trying to hold it all together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I said, \u201cI\u2019m not quitting right now. Will I one day? Of course. I\u2019m not trying to be an 80-year-old pornstar. But right now, this pays the bills, keeps a roof over my head, and lets me be sugar mama while Stephen\u2019s in prison.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Everyone laughed \u2014 awkwardly, but it broke the tension.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then I looked at them and said, \u201cPlease don\u2019t let tears or shame have the last word. Let faith rise. God\u2019s not done with this story yet. Will you love me as your daughter even if you can\u2019t accept my choices?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It was quiet for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then my mom admitted she worried too much about what others thought.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My dad admitted he felt like he failed me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And I admitted I just wanted love without conditions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

By the end of the night, my mom agreed to love and accept me \u2014 even if she didn\u2019t agree with me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And for the first time in years, I felt peace at that table.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Because it wasn\u2019t about who was right or wrong \u2014 it was about love finally winning over judgment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here\u2019s what I\u2019ve learned: Jesus doesn\u2019t approve of sin, but He never withdraws His love because of it. Romans 5:8 says, \u201cBut God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If God loved us at our worst, why do we think He stops now?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Romans 8:38\u201339 says that nothing can separate us from the love of God.<\/em> Nothing. Not sin. Not shame. Not our careers. Not our mistakes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And maybe that\u2019s the point.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Because people don\u2019t change through condemnation \u2014 they change through compassion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You can\u2019t shame someone into holiness; you can only love them into healing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think that\u2019s what Jesus meant when He loved the woman caught in adultery \u2014 He didn\u2019t tell her, \u201cYou\u2019re fine, keep doing it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He said, \u201cNeither do I condemn you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He led with love before correction.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s grace.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Grace doesn\u2019t ignore sin \u2014 it overwhelms it with love until the sin has no power left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If I\u2019ve learned anything through this messy, painful, beautiful process, it\u2019s this: Love people where they\u2019re at, not where you think they should be. Because that\u2019s exactly what Jesus does.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just know whether you love me or love to hate me \u2014 you\u2019re still my Lover.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t forget Jesus loves you \u2014 unconditionally \u2014 and so do I.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Have you ever done something your parents didn\u2019t approve of \u2014 and for a moment, it felt like their love came with fine print? Ever felt like no matter what you do, you\u2019ll never live up to the expectations your family had for you? Maybe you didn\u2019t become the doctor, the lawyer, or the \u201cgood […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":26,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-25","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-diary"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/onlychristy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/onlychristy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/onlychristy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/onlychristy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/onlychristy.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=25"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/onlychristy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/onlychristy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/26"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/onlychristy.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=25"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/onlychristy.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=25"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/onlychristy.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=25"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}