{"id":20,"date":"2025-09-29T21:11:54","date_gmt":"2025-09-30T04:11:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/onlychristy.com\/?p=20"},"modified":"2025-09-29T21:15:44","modified_gmt":"2025-09-30T04:15:44","slug":"%f0%9f%92%94-confessions-of-a-pastor-pornstar-introvert-my-friendship-detox","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/onlychristy.com\/?p=20","title":{"rendered":"\ud83d\udc94\u00a0Confessions of a Pastor\u2013Pornstar Introvert: My Friendship Detox"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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Here\u2019s a confession hotter than a churro at Disneyland: I don\u2019t really have close friends. I\u2019m that girl who smiles for selfies but secretly knows the exit map better than the menu. My walls have been up so long they\u2019re practically a national monument \u2014 and when somebody tries to get close, my reflex is to push them away faster than a bad dick pic in the DMs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It started back in high school. I had a best friend \u2014 older, cooler, basically my teenage soul twin. I thought we\u2019d be at each other\u2019s weddings, our kids would be besties, we\u2019d do matching Christmas pajamas. Then she met Weed Girl. Weed Girl smoked, I didn\u2019t. (If it\u2019s your thing, cool \u2014 but not mine.) Slowly my bestie drifted into clouds of smoke and out of my life. She chose weed, I chose boundaries. It felt like watching your soulmate run off with Snoop Dogg and a lighter.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That moment carved a trench in me. My brain went, \u201cnever again.\u201d From then on, acquaintances were fine, but deep friendships? Nope. I built a moat, hired dragons, and put up a neon sign that said \u201cNo Vacancy.\u201d Years later, my ex-best friend was strung out, surviving paycheck to paycheck. My heart broke. I still pray for her, but our lives are galaxies apart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fast forward: my husband is in prison, I\u2019ve moved to L.A., and I\u2019m a social-media introvert who gets paid to be extroverted. My fur babies are my therapy team, my events calendar is my enemy, and my social battery dies faster than my iPhone on 2%. Life without friendships is lonely. Even my cats look at me like, \u201cGirl, download Bumble BFF already.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then came an invite I didn\u2019t expect: James Bartholet\u2019s birthday party at Disneyland. My first thought: \u201cNope.\u201d My second thought: \u201cChristy, get your ass out of the house.\u201d So I went. I rode rides. I hung out with my friend Tia Kai \u2014 one of the few people who\u2019s consistently in my corner \u2014 and for the first time met Priya Rai. She was warm, funny, and totally easy to talk to, and James was the ultimate host. It felt good. Like oxygen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The next night I threw Marica Hase her birthday party at Barton G\u2019s with Lucky Starr who is a sweet friend. (If you\u2019ve never been, it\u2019s a bougie fever dream of oversized cocktails and theatrical desserts. Even the shrimp look like they\u2019re in Cirque du Soleil.) For the first time in forever, I stopped thinking about work and just\u2026 hung out. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Being a #PrisonWife in L.A. taught me something: my walls are not protection, they\u2019re a prison. And I don\u2019t need another prison in my life. I\u2019ve decided it\u2019s selfish to hide behind my walls. My calling isn\u2019t just to shock people or make them laugh \u2014 it\u2019s to bless people. And you can\u2019t bless people from a bunker. It means opening my hand even if it risks being hurt. Because people will hurt me. They\u2019ll misunderstand me. They\u2019ll probably gossip. But Jesus did all of that and still hosted dinner parties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So here I am, walking this out, healing one awkward social interaction at a time. Hold me accountable. If you see me retreating into my shell, DM me and say \u201cGet your ass out of the house, Christy.\u201d Because healing isn\u2019t just prayer and therapy; sometimes it\u2019s saying yes to brunch.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My heart is still delicate. My walls are still tall. But my purpose is bigger than my fear. And I can\u2019t live my calling hiding behind a velvet rope of loneliness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thank you for reading my true story. Thank you for being my Lovers. Whether you love me or love to hate me, you\u2019re still my Lovers. And Jesus loves you \u2014 and so do I.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Here\u2019s a confession hotter than a churro at Disneyland: I don\u2019t really have close friends. I\u2019m that girl who smiles for selfies but secretly knows the exit map better than the menu. My walls have been up so long they\u2019re practically a national monument \u2014 and when somebody tries to get close, my reflex is to push them away faster than a bad dick pic in the DMs.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":21,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-20","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-diary"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/onlychristy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/onlychristy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/onlychristy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/onlychristy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/onlychristy.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=20"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/onlychristy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/onlychristy.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/21"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/onlychristy.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=20"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/onlychristy.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=20"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/onlychristy.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=20"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}